Written by Aaron Lew, LCSW:

SUCK IT UP! QUIT MOANING! QUIT COMPLAINING! QUIT ACTING LIKE A BABY! We’ve all been told to QUIT WHINING! Maybe from a Parent, a Coach, a Teacher, a Boss, a Healthcare Professional or a Friend. The message is strong. Crying, complaining, reacting to pain, reacting to fears or seeking support is an annoying, unwelcome and unacceptable sign of weakness. “GROWNUPS DON”T WHINE!”

BUT WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE SOMETHING TO WHINE ABOUT?

Individuals surviving mental illness often face pain, shame guilt, anxiety, fear, indignity, insult isolation, invisibility, and inhumanity. Some take medications with life numbing side effects. Others struggle with uncontrollable perceptions of horror and death, as well as, incapable, insensitive, misinformed, ill equipped or twisted families, supports and healthcare options. HELP!

Few consider individual situations. Capacities, community, supports, strengths, genetic makeup, resilience, finances, education, family, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, spirituality cultural acceptance and access to affordable, quality healthcare, including often extended needs of medication and other interventions/treatment. All factors contributing to quality of survival.

Many outwardly face their pain and indignity silently. They are often pointed to as strong, courageous and stoic. Described as handling difficulties with grace and dignity.

Others are insulted and dehumanized for expressing their pain. Ostracized when reaching to fill very basic urges for care, kindness and understanding. Often arbitrary mandates scream “Deal with it,” and QUIT WHINING!

“WHINERS,” are often tossed in a societal trash heap. Judged as not fitting in proper/acceptable pigeon holes of coping. As if there was one correct way to cope with often life crunching difficulties.

This is not meant to encourage people to whine. Rather, it is encouraging individuals to consider, what is “whining ?” Moreover, encouraging individuals to ask, what is behind their whining ?

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK

Realize, some experiences are worthy of whining. Realize, recognizing and expressing pain is part of being human. Realize, examining your “Whining” may free you to embrace yourself as an individual. Not just a “WHINER.” Then you can concentrate on your survival. Concentrate on your strengths and capacities to create opportunities and expand realities. Concentrate on your life…with or without “Whining.”